Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Sucker Punches

  I am throwing a pity party right now, and no one else is invited!  My inspiration?  I just had to brush my teeth because my chemo breath was making me gag!  That's just the beginning!  Why...when I ate a piece of bread the size of a chicken nugget...do I feel bloated and full?  How can I be tired when I just slept for ten hours?  Why did I feel fine yesterday morning, and the dang chemo sucker punched me today?
  I thought a whole week of vacation with the family (at the pool, chilling in Las Vegas) would boost my immunity powers and this next-to-last treatment would take it easy on me.  Think again, naked-headed sun goddess!  I felt good enough to wake up at 3:00 am yesterday and went to work. Even though I half wished I had tossed the wig into the Bellagio fountains, I yanked it on and got ready for news at 4:55.  It was no big deal...until about 7:30 when I started feeling a little green. (Not good skin tone in HD!)  I left around 9:00, and I think I fell asleep on the couch before my husband could cover me with a blanket.
  I kept thinking it would gradually get better (like usual) but it gradually got worse!  I had stomach trouble unlike I've ever had.  It didn't feel like queasy or constipation...more like a combination of both...and throw in a strange craving for mashed potatoes and gravy from KFC!  My big kids can still snuggle me into feeling better, and my  sweetie got me the mashed potatoes, that I couldn't really taste.  Still went to bed feeling like I had the flu.
   Around 2:45 am, I let the producers know I wouldn't be in...tried to go potty...then went back to bed.  I slept with the windows open and the sound of the rain so soothing!  Somehow, both kids got up, ready for school, and left before I had a chance to "help" them.  I woke up at ten, feeling like I hadn't slept at all.  Now I'm missing out on all of the news action at work, and will have to catch up even more tomorrow.
   My co-workers will be glad I didn't tough it out today!  I usually brush it off and say I'm okay, but this pity party train is at full speed in my house today!  My teeth ache.  I feel seven months pregnant.  My tongue is swollen and tingly.  My fingernails feel like they're peeling off from the base.  My bald head is sweating and I look like an angry old man.  My knees hurt.  My stupid right eye has been twitching for two months now!  And I'm tired of being tired!
  Okay...I'll stop whining...the pity party train is losing steam.  I feel a nap coming on.  In a bit, I'll pick up the paper plates and throw away the leftover salsa.  Actually, pizza sounds pretty good right now... ;)