LAST CANCER TREATMENT!!!

  Seven months ago, this week, I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and today I will undergo the LAST treatment to make sure it is out of my body!  The 30th of 30 radiation treatments follows the four months of chemo-hell and the lumpectomy that got the tumor out!  I saw a quote from Winston Churchill on Facebook last week that I think sums up any battle against cancer:  "When you're going through Hell...Keep going!"
  As the chemo fog clears, and I begin to feel more like myself, the hellish part is more real.  In a way, while you're in the middle of that fog, and under the emotions of battle, you don't realize how dense and thick it is.  I can now admit that I was tired and sick almost every day, but ignored it.  The tough mom can't let anyone see a chink in her armor, and subconsciously, didn't want the opponent to see it either.
  I felt odd yesterday, when South Salt Lake City honored me as the Grand Marshall of their parade, because the theme was "Courage."  They said I displayed courage in going public with this personal battle... in how I've used this evil disease to encourage others to get screened... and in how staying public with it inspires others to push through life's battles.  I think real courage is what our troops, firefighters, police, and other heroes have when they choose to do the amazing things they do.  I didn't choose cancer.  No one does.  And to me, it wasn't a choice of whether to battle or not... it was a choice to just be stubborn and get through it!  I'd love to see a parade theme of "Stubbornness!"

  Keep going!  That's what we did when we were in Orlando last month.  We paid for a full day in Universal Studios theme park, and we were going to get our money's worth of fun, even though tropical storm Debby dumped sheets of rain on us...non-stop.  No exaggeration!  It poured all day!  A couple trips on the Harry Potter Dragon coaster melted my eyelash glue 'til it was dripping down my face. (Eventually forming a transparent crust down the sides of my face!)  I sat on a bench and pulled out my little tube of glue to do repairs...not caring that other sopping wet revelers could see.  And for the record- we got our money's worth and had a total soaking wet blast!

 Wet day at Universal Orlando!

  The hair, eyelash, and eyebrow dilemmas are the lingering daily pains-in-the-butt from chemo, and even with them, there are signs of recovery!  I noticed twisty little eyebrow hairs just this morning, and felt microscopic stubbles of eyelash too.  Most of my hair is a little over a half inch long, and it's an odd texture.  Some is strong and straight, and other hairs are thin and whispy, like baby hair.  It came in about 95% white, and I plan to color it tonight, so I can go wig-less when we celebrate with a family getaway weekend!
  It does keep getting better if you keep going.  I still come back to that quote and love the dual meaning of the words.  If you are going through Hell...don't stop in the middle of it, or you'll be there forever!  KEEP GOING, and you'll get through it.  I'm sure it's one of many battles in my life, and we'll keep going...
 

Happy Mother's Day!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

  What a week!  Last chemo, false eyelashes, weak muscles, new cravings, and amazing inspiration from fellow survivors.

                       (Photo: Chemo nurse Doug, me, and my husband Kent)
  Yes, we celebrated my last chemo treatment, but the side effects came on a bit stronger than last time.  I kept busy on the weekend with volleyball and baseball tournaments, and the fuzzy, icky feelings started kicking in Sunday evening.  Monday was a lump-on-the-couch crummy day, and Tuesday was similar, except added a light-headedness to the mix.  I got to feeling partially human Tuesday night, so decided work would be okay Wednesday, bright and early at 3am!
  False eyelashes now add about ten minutes to my getting ready time.  I have about six lashes on each eye, and since I've been using Latisse for several months, they are long...but look pretty skimpy, even with mascara.  No eyelashes is almost as big of a visual shock as no hair.  I thought I looked like an old man with no hair...now I look like a turtle!   I asked our beautiful lifestyle correspondent, Amanda Chamberlain to hook me up with eyelash advice, and her friend MaryAnn did a segment on the morning show to show me how to make the best of the four dollar fake lashes from the drug store.  If I could see close-up (weird chemo vision changes) and get my fingers to be a bit more steady, I bet I could get good at this.  Hopefully I won't have to do it for long!
  I have always looked at chemo and cancer as something I will deal with TEMPORARILY.  And it is!  My hair is starting to grow back...in fuzzy, little, white strands.  Makes me think of a tufty, baby bald eagle, or the ugly duckling!  You think- no way will that thing grow into a pretty bird!  The jury's still out on what will happen in the weeks to come, but I know whatever happens, it's chemo's fault!  No one has to know that my hair was mostly white before.  It's coming in solid white, and it's because of chemo, got it?
  I've been told that it helps to stay active with walking or some kind of workout while you go through chemo, but I haven't followed that advice.  Busy, napping, just didn't make the time to do it...and now I'm feeling the effects.  My muscles feel like I just worked out, but don't look like it!  It seems like stretching gets my circulation pumping and I'm hoping that will give me a boost as I try to get back in shape to coach volleyball this summer.  (Long road ahead, girls!)

                           (Photo: Ringing the bell to celebrate final chemo!)
  As for the weird eating habits of chemo...I'm still pretty ticked that I've gained weight!  When the taste-buds are weak, I seem to need more food to fill the gap!  Mexican food has been at the top of the list all four months of chemo, but lemon is a new craving!  I've always liked lemon desserts, because of the strong flavor, and it's not too sweet...but I've never craved it like I have this week.  I had a scoop of lemon sorbet covered in fruit loops the other night.  Last night, a slice of lemon meringue pie.  Big flavor, big calories, bigger Mary!  (But it's temporary!!!)
  My Mother's day weekend has been fantastic and more than memorable!  When you kick things off on Saturday morning with a gathering of thousands to support the fight against breast cancer, you can't go wrong!  We got my son to baseball, then my husband, daughter and I attended the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in Salt Lake City.  As we hung out in the Survivor's Cafe, the organizers asked me to carry the "Newly Diagnosed" sign in the Survivor's March to the stage.  I was humbled, and honored to carry the sign for other women who are less than a year from diagnosis.  A few of these beautiful ladies I got to meet were diagnosed while they were still breastfeeding little babies.  Young moms going through this like another week of carpool duty!  Amazing strength, and showing that there is something so valuable to fight for.  Others diagnosed at Stage 4, and fighting for their lives.  All of us know the percentages, and know there is hope.

               (Photo from Komen's facebook: Survivors March)
  I also got to meet some friends in person for the first time!  Facebook, email, and blog friends I've come to know personally, but hadn't met face to face!  And my chemo-buddy Nancy came up to say hello.  Her team of 70 did the race, and pushed her in a wheelchair because she had a pretty rough week after her chemo #5.  She helped me carry the sign to lead the march, and her strength gave me more support!
   So many incredible ladies... our neighbors, teachers, sisters, moms and daughters... with amazing stories of power and support.  They inspire and energize me to push, and keep fighting.  Not only fight cancer, but fight to spread the word about early detection, and help raise money to find a cure.  Ten years from now, we should still gather for support, but hopefully we will have a cure.  Our goal should then be to increase early detection, raise money to pay for treatment, and maybe find a vaccine to prevent it!
   To top off the Mother's Day weekend, my kids and hubby took me to see The Avengers!  It was incredible if you love action and humor...which is exactly what I love at the theater! And it makes you wonder if we can invent a cancer killing super hero that doesn't cause as much collateral damage.  Let's get busy!  And Happy Mother's Day!!!