The chemo room is an open area, with several windowed, open cubicles. In each, two big recliner-treatment chairs for the patients, and a few extra chairs for folks cheering the patients on. I met some new members of this ill-begotten club. Vickie, my neighbor for this round, had been there since 8:30 in the morning. Tough little cookie had some complications, and was still smiling and cracking jokes with the best of them! And Nancy and her husband were over in the corner, sharing in the laughs to boost their spirits as they went through their first treatment. (I hope my fuzzy chemo-brain didn't help me mess up their names!)
Dad and Marlys said it was inspiring to see how people light up when they get to share their story with our group. I feel like I'm the one who benefits, because I absorb the positive energy and strength from every smile! Like I've said, it is a club you never want to belong to, but once you get there, you meet some incredibly awesome and strong people! I was praying for a new friend, Jil, going through her first treatment, and my new advisor, Leslie, came by with her husband for a little visit. I hope that seeing everyone get on with regular life will help others do the same. I know the chemo knocks some people on their can for quite a while, and I sure feel lucky to not have that kind of effect yet! I hope those stuck in the more ravaging symptoms will hang in there and know we're all on the same team to beat this!
This time around, I got my chemo Friday, and the Neulasta shot on Saturday, so if my bones hurt, I would have the weekend to get through it. I'm assuming that the treatments might compound a little and make the symptoms worse, so I've been expecting more. Friday we waited...twins birthday dinner from Texas Road House tasted great... no pain... Slept for hours... no pain... Watched my daughter play a few volleyball matches Saturday morning... got the Neulasta shot, and waited more. No big pain. Sunday, still no big pain, even went out for another birthday dinner! (Can't believe my twins are now 15 years old! Best Valentine present ever!)
Monday 3 am came way too early! Plus, I took for granted that the wig would be in "ready for air" shape, and it took me a few extra minutes of fussing with it, setting me a few minutes late. I was also feeling punky and had a little like a post-concert ear-ringing feeling as I got ready, but thought I could shape up and make it through the day. Fake it 'til you make it, right? I forgot my vitamins, didn't grab breakfast (so ate a handful of almonds when I got to work) stumbled through the three hour morning newscast, and decided to go home and take a nice, long nap!
My sweetie, dad and Marlys just let me rest til the kids got home for their birthday dinner. Turkey meatloaf and spinach salad are my new healthy specialty... then we had my son's late basketball game. Both kids said it'd be okay with them if I didn't wear a wig, but apparently, I wasn't quite ready. I think the noisy gym, intensity of the game, and irritation of the wig brought my headache back...but I wouldn't have missed my boy playing for the world! Woke up glad that I went, and hopeful for another better day back on the right track to recovery!
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! Give extra hugs to those you love EVERY day!!! And thanks for sharing your stories and questions....we can all help each other a little bit!
Glad all is going better than anticipated (feared) at this point. I saw you this morning and thought you seemed to be very "normal". Yes, normal is good! Blessings to you and your family!!
ReplyDeleteAmazed every day at your enthusiasm, great attitude and amazing spirit. You look beautiful and love the 'hairdoo' you have in this picture. So glad you were able to enjoy family and celebrations without a lot of pain. I'm so very proud of you and truly enjoy reading your blog every time you post. It's great knowledge to have and you make me laugh out loud with your great humor. Keep up the great work. Kick this in the pants! I know you can do it! Happy Valentine's Day to you-soak up all the love you can!
ReplyDeleteMany Blessings Mary....You are very courageous and thank you for sharing your journey with us.
ReplyDeleteContinued best wishes to you and your family! You are an amazing woman that SO many of us look up to and admire. Stay strong ... and keep that sense of humor. Happy Valentine's Day to you and your family
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing!!! It certainly isn't a club you want to be in but the people are amazing! I have made some wonderful friends during my treatments and it's been great! You need their courage, love and support! I looked forward to visiting with all of them during treatments. I'm glad that you are not experiencing any more pain and nausea than you are!! WHOO HOO!!! Hang in there girl!!! It will go by faster than you think!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing such a personal part of your life with all of us. Cancer truly does suck, pardon the language, but it does! I have a very dear friend who is only 42 years old and has been battling esophogeal (sp?) cancer for almost 4 years. She was stage 4 when first diagnosed, but through surgery and treatments in Germany, she is still with us and doing well. I have learned that much strength is gained by sharing thoughts and feelings about cancer, kind of makes one feel that they are never alone. Thanks for your example of strength and beauty while you fight this monster.. you can beat it! And as I continually say to my friend, stay strong and fight like the tough cookie you are.. I am saying the same to you!! Goods luck! And, by the way, thanks also for sharing your "bald" picture. You are absolutely beautiful!! And my goodness, what gorgeous eyes you have!!!
ReplyDeleteMary, thanks for being so upbeat. It really helped me be positive through my first chemo Friday. Thank you for your blog and being a voice for all of us going through this! See ya next time....
ReplyDeleteI just had my first post treatment mammogram and it was clear! Thank God! You will be through this is no time. This time, 2013, your treatment will be behind you! And after a few sessions, your doctor, might discontinue the neulasta, mine did.
ReplyDeleteI love the short wig - I also think you look great bald with your GI Jane look. You have a beautiful face and a beautiful spirit and that's what shines through. You are one tough cookie! I look forward to watching 2 News morning show every day and have for many years. I work from home so every morning I get up, turn on the news, brew some coffee and watch the news team that seems like family to me while I work. You looked especially beautiful this morning in that stunning red suit! Keep smiling and we'll keep you in our prayers :)
ReplyDeleteJust saw the naked head pic from prior post. (Didn't see it the first time I read the post so I assume you added it later.) I say this in all seriousness because I am not being nice just because you have cancer. . . when you are through all the chemo you seriously should go with very short hair. Your eyes really stand out and are very beautiful. You have lovely features and Demi ain't the only one who can pull this off!
ReplyDeleteMary you look better than GI Jane. Thank you for being so brave to show us such a symbolic moment. We put to much value into are hair. You look real amazing. Happy Valetines Day!
ReplyDeleteI love watching you on Channel 2 Mary!!! You are amazing. I lost my Mom to breast cancer back i 1978 at the age of 51. They didn't have the treatment that they have now and hers was quite advanced before they found out. I know you will do great!!! I'm grateful that you are getting the best of care and know that it was a blessing to have found it at this early stage. SO GRATEFUL!!!! You are in my thoughts and prayers Mary!!
ReplyDeleteThank you for being brave enough to share your journey. My mom just finished her first chemo treatment and it helps to be able to hear someone be real about what is ahead for her.
ReplyDeleteYou truly are inspiring Mary! You have amazing strength and spirit! My thoughts are always with you!!
ReplyDeleteMary! You have such an amazing spirit! I thank god for you and how inspiring you are. You give me hope that yes in fact, everything is going to be ok. You are a strong woman, and if anyone is going to beat this, you will. Thank you so much for sharing such an intimate part of your life with all of us. Keep fighting, all of us including God is in your corner cheering you on! Your in my daily thoughts and prayers. Happy Valentines Day!
ReplyDeleteErika Willmon
Mary! You have such an amazing spirit! I thank god for you and how inspiring you are. You give me hope that yes in fact, everything is going to be ok. You are a strong woman, and if anyone is going to beat this, you will. Thank you so much for sharing such an intimate part of your life with all of us. Keep fighting, all of us including God is in your corner cheering you on! Your in my daily thoughts and prayers. Happy Valentines Day!
ReplyDeleteErika Willmon
Mary! You have such an amazing spirit! I thank god for you and how inspiring you are. You give me hope that yes in fact, everything is going to be ok. You are a strong woman, and if anyone is going to beat this, you will. Thank you so much for sharing such an intimate part of your life with all of us. Keep fighting, all of us including God is in your corner cheering you on! Your in my daily thoughts and prayers. Happy Valentines Day!
ReplyDeleteErika Willmon
Mary you make my day, and you bring smiles and hope to all in your journey. We are lucky to have you in our lives and always in our hearts. Candle are lit in two states for you and your family! Prayers of strength and comfort, jack and Cheryl
ReplyDeleteGo Mary go!!! I found the third treatment the hardest to come back from. I am not sure why. Don't over do it. Rest often. I could never wear a wig because of headaches and I still have a problem with wearing hats to this day nine years later. I recommend not eating anything you truely love during chemo. It took years to get over some smells and looks of food that I liked at the time but came to not like because of chemo. Hang in there and let the laughs come. Best medicine ever!
ReplyDeleteYou are seriously SO amazing, I don't know how you do it. Your such an inspiration, it's so hard to read all these wonderful women I know going through with the cancer shmancer.. I love that your sweet Dad was able to come and be with you. You continue to inspire me, thank you, thank you for sharing with all of us.. P.S. you look AWESOME bald- such a beautiful girl.
ReplyDeleteMary I have always loved watching you on the morning news you are such a strong amazing women. You are an inspiration to me I admire you so much. One of my best friends is going through this right now and it devastated me when she was diagnoist. I have had a hard time with it but reading your blog makes me have so much hope and belief that people can beat this horrible thing called cancer. You have such a wonderful family that loves you dearly. I remember when your twins were born and how proud you have always been of them. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this amazing journey with us. I will continue to pray for you. You are truly an inspiration to everyone.
ReplyDeleteMary, remember Bald is Beautiful! I'm glad to see you are still feeling strong. For me with each treatment the energy level went down and more side affects appeared. I didn't lose my eyebrows or eyelashes until my last treatment (I also did 6 chemo treatments plus 35 radiation treatments after). I wore scarfs more than anything, the wigs were uncomfortable, but I wore a soft fuzzy pink nightcap at night because my head got really cold. I just want you to know that what you are doing in the public eye is so great and will be so educational for the public. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Remember to suck on ice during chemo so you don't get those nasty mouth sores, your food will still taste raunchy but at least you won't have the sores! Take care and stand strong.
ReplyDeleteGood Luck, Mary.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter was diagnosed with leukemia almost 4 years ago. They had a really hard time knocking it out and there were times when I talked with her on Skype and told my husband, we're never going to see her again. You see, she lives in Scotland.
She has now been cancer free for two years. I still haven't seen her in four years (we have a three year old grandaughter we've never held :( but when I talk to her now, she is as full of life as I've ever seen her.
Hang in there. It's life changing, but for the better, I think.
Thank you for your openess.
Round two I'm so proud of you, You go girl. Chuckle, chemobrain, only one that has had it knows exactly what you mean. I met a new sister from the Sisterhood of the Pink Ribbon last year, as we talked she said,"you know, you know, don't you? We hugged like we had been best friends all of our lifes." Only those of that have been through this really know what she was talking about.
ReplyDeleteStay strong
My sister started her chemo 2/4/02. This May, we will go on our 10th Breast Cancer walk at the Gateway. We will walk for you too. That first year, the wind blew her wig off, she was so embarrassed. I am so glad we get to talk about that today. You will be another survivor. Feel positive. I can feel all the love for you, just reading your blog and the comments. Sending our prayers up for you everyday.
ReplyDeleteMary, I love the wig you have on in this picture. It looks natural and so you.Good Luck with the rmainder of your treatments I hope you continue to feel well:)
ReplyDeleteWay to go! I love catching up on all your goings-on! The Neulasta shots always got to me. I always felt the pain in my long bones- including my sternum. I'm glad the folks at the Utah Cancer Specialists told me that might happen because when it hit, it hurt. I was always one of the healthiest people when I went in for chemo and as crazy as it sounds, it almost made me feel bad! But, it was nice to chat with people and hear their stories. It is an amazing club... we rock!
ReplyDeleteWhat an inspiration you are! I've been diagnosed with lymphoma...started as Stage 2 and then was found in the marrow. So, instead of Stage 2, 4 treatments, we're at Stage 4, 8 treatments. Not what I wanted to hear. Watching you makes it a little easier. My prayer for you is one of lasting courage and strength to help the rest of us through! Thanks so much for sharing such a private thing on such a public stage.
ReplyDeleteMary, I would like to thank you for sharing your experiences. I'm glad you are doing ok. I just went for a diagnostic mammogram, due to some changes I had noticed to by left breast. They didn't like they way something looked and immediately did an ultra sound. They found two "lesions" what ever that means. I never felt a lump nor did my Dr. Well, they immediate biopsied two spots. That was Thursday, I'm supposed to get the results today. I'm very scared to say the least. It really helps to be able to read about someone going through it. Thanks for being an amazing person who is really strong. It's helping me while I wait! :)
ReplyDeleteI got the call just a little bit ago, ductal carcinoma. I don't know if it's DCIS or invasive as of yet. I have an appointment with my surgeon on Thursday am. The oncologist I chose the office is closed today and tomorrow. I will call and get that appointment on Wednesday. Keep strong, you are very important to all women who are, going to or have known someone with this disease. Keep smiling and I will too.....
DeleteHang in there! You might have it early, and very treatable! I had to wait for a genetic test, and it was the worst week! The doctors told me a few days, or even weeks, won't make a difference in growth or invasiveness. Get good doctors, and you can trust you're in good hands, and know you'll be okay!
DeleteWell, I'm joining you in the waiting game on the genetic test. I found out today that it is, like yours, invasive ductal carcinoma. Mine is grade 1. I am scheduled for a lumpectomy on Mar. 5. But, that could change if the genetic comes back positive. I will then change to a double mastectomy because of the recurrence rate. Right now though six weeks of radiation it my treatment after the lumpectomy. I will know more after my MRI next Wed. and my visit the same day with my oncologist. Keep up the wonderful attitude and I will do the same!! :)
DeleteThanks for the words of encouragement. They are greatly appreciated! It makes me feel very fortunate that you would take the time to send me that comment. Maybe I'll see you up there when I go for my appointments, who knows.
ReplyDeleteThanks again and my prayers are with you! :)
I hope and pray that things keep going well! You inspire me to be a better person. God bless you!
ReplyDeleteWe watch 2 News each morning. Mary, your cancer story is inpiring. I was blessed to work through chemo as well. I had my two breasts removed, lost 31 lymph nodes, 30 were cancerous. Had 48 radiation treatments. The answer: (anyway one persons opinion) Positive Attitude, Family and Friend, Attitude, Modern Medicine, Attitude, Prayer and Faith, along with more Attitude. We appreciate your smiling face and your courage to tell your story. Blogging is theraputic!! Our prayers are with you!!
ReplyDeleteMary, It looks like I am about a month behind you in treatment. I found out I had a lump in my left breast on Dec. 19, 2011. I had a clinical breast exam and then had a Mammogram and ultrasound two days later on the 21st.. The holidays were not the same.. My first visit with my surgon was Jan. 3, 2012 and Biopsy was done under ultral sound on Jan. 10th. I was told on Jan. 13th that it was malignant. That was the longest 23 days in my life (not knowing). I had an MRI Jan 18th and Breast surgery Jan. 20th. My first visit with oncologist was Feb. 1 followed by surgery for a port on the 6th. My 1st chemo treatment was Feb 14th. I have about 5 or 6 days before my hair should start falling out. Thanks for being so brave and having such a good attitude. It has helped me lots. I take one -12 hour claritin and one- 12 hour aleve for bone pain from the neulasta shot. It helped alot.
ReplyDeleteI forgot to tell you. My cancer is also the invasive ductal carcinoma kind. I have 6 treatments of Chemo (5) to go. And then 6 weeks of radation. I also have twins but they just turned 23.
ReplyDeleteIts so wonderful to hear so many share their stories with Mary, My Husband & I have been part of the cheering section for our daughter in New York. Our son and a niece at the huntsman cancer center during Chemo.
DeleteThose that work there are remarkable and share such a sweet spirit along with the treatments.
I wish you all complete remission and a beautiful life to look forward too.
This is what makes Life so very Precious....